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Thursday, December 21st, 2006
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There isn't any chance that anyone can come and help me at the store on Friday, Saturday or Sunday, or Tuesday, is there? Even if only for a couple of hours? Lindsey? Donna? I know my chances are pretty slim with Xmas and all, but I thought I would ask anyway...
Thanks,
L.
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Saturday, June 17th, 2006
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Another week come and gone. By, goly. Last Monday night I went to Arwyn's friends sex toy party with Donna. It was lots of fun. I particularly enjoyed hitting on Donna, but then again I always do..! I ended up buying a couple of things, like some sleazy lingerie that I hope to god fits half decently.
The next morning I had to open, which sucked, of course, cuz it always does. But Tuesday night Lindsey and I went to Legends to see Randy and Mr. Lahey, and it was soooo much fun. I haven't laughed like that in so long. I knew it would be funny, but oh man. Exceded my expectations. And hanging out with Lindsey is always fun. I got an extra poster signed for Cody (little brother) so he was quite happy about that. Aren't I the bestest big sister ever?
The rest of the week was pretty uneventful. With the exception of going out for tea with Heidi, oh and then another night John and I went to Pag's for dinner and then rented "Grandma's Boy" - which was freakin hilarious. Rent it if you wanna laugh your ass off.
Then on Friday we went to Mom's for dinner. And I finally got all my pics printed up from Nova Scotia and Mexico (all 180 of em - there was more but that's what I narrowed it down to), only to realize that the dumbasses at Walmart didn't give me all my photos. Boo.
Well that's about it. Goin to a party tonight so I should go get ready I guess.
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Friday, October 15th, 2004
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So um I've asked a few people if they want to go out tomorrow night, and a few people have replied, and um....so does anyone wanna go out? Arwyn and Leanna....? Anyone else who wants to come? Pweease? We can meet downtown in front of the Bay centre at like 9 and decide where to go. We were thinkin of going for drinks at a pub or something like that. So come out and bring whoever ya like!
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Sunday, January 5th, 2003
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Yeeah! Computer in my room! Woo! Woo! *hugs moniter*
Okay, I'm a dork. This was a nice weekend. Mainly because I didn't work at all. I spent all of it with Paul, except on Saturday night I watched a movie with Sukhpal. Wierd movie at that. And her VCR ate the tape...but Blockbusters will never know...bwahahahahaha.
Anyway...um, Friday I worked until 1PM, and then rushed down to Camosun to get my books. Or BOOK I should say. If I decide to stay in that other psych class I'll buy the book later...but I just dunno. Oh I'm going off topic again. Paul and I had a good day, and Friday night didn't happen so we stayed at his place and watched "Ice Age", which was pretty good. We also played some Tony Hawk 4(?) and finished off the bottle of rum (with cokes). It's so nice being able to hang out with him without time restraints. Yesterday and today went about the same. Hung out. Went to Walmart and then to Whitespot for lunch....Conspired against "certain individuals"...jolly good time :)
School starts tomorrow and I don't want to go. It always feels like I'm starting new classes. I gotta go thru the first week bullshit yet again. Argh. Oh well I'm only doing 2...possibly 3 classes. And I'm going to take math at Royal Roads a couple nights a week. Which will be nice cuz it's so damn close. And it's time I stop procrastinating and get shit done. New Years revolution #1: pass math.
New Years revolution #2: Go on treadmill more often! I'm so sporadic. I would really love to do yoga with Bronwyn and Lyndsay and Sukhpal cuz I know I would be more motivated that way. But it clashes with math. *sigh*
And I wanna go to England with Sukhpal! England! England! That would be so cool. I could die happy knowing I've been somewhere in my life.
So yeah, that's pretty much it :) This break went by so fast, but it was a good one. To those that it applies to, I hope y'all have a good day back tomorrow...good night.
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Wednesday, January 1st, 2003
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| Time: | 9:01 pm. |
| Mood: |  groggy. |
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Yeea! Happy New Years!! Last night was so fun - probably the most fun I've had on New Years eve in a long time...maybe even ever. I worked a short 4 hour shift and then went to Arwyns place on campus for a new years shindig. I was drunk, so it's kinda blurry now, but it was some good times. We went onto the deck and banged pots and pans together at midnite. And then stumbled down to a park that I hadn't been too, that was submereged in water. It looked so cool...then we went back to Arwyns and Paul and I, and Leanna and Matt, Arwyn and Micah (?) sat around talking and listening to the Beatles until 3. Then Paul and me and Matt and Leanna stayed up bitching about stuff. It was cool. And now I've just read in Leanna's journal that they were on shrooms...man you guys were so mellow. I woulda never have guessed *scratches head*
We slept into like 12:30 this morning, too. Although I don't think I got much sleep due to the scary TV making wierd noises when it was fucking turned OFF. It was creapy.
Thanx for having us, Arwyn :)
Um...oh and on Monday night the whole gang went to Boston's pizza to see Emi and Chirhiro, who are back in Victoria...I hope they weren't too bored. We must be a hard group to follow... :P
Um I think that's it besides working. The comp in my room has the internet now, but it's not working properly for some reason...poo.
Anyway...Happy new year everyone :)
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Saturday, December 28th, 2002
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| Time: | 6:27 pm. |
| Mood: | lazy. |
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Christmas week was crazy as usual. And it went by so fucking fast...
Last...Sunday I think it was, was our annual Christmas gathering, this time at Leanna and Matt's place. It was fun, as usual...we ate lots, watched Rudolf, then walked (and galoped!) down the streets singing old Alanis Morissete songs in a drunken-like state. There were lots of laughs, and I'm so glad everyone made it :) It's times like that when I really feel alive. Ya know?
Monday and Tuesday I worked. Tues was Christmas eve and I was surprised with an early present...my own computer! I'm so happy :) It doesn't have the net hooked up yet, but I'm so anxious to use it...
Tuesday night we just hung around, ate dinner, the usual stuff...After Paul got off work at 10 he came over and slept over, and we got to wake up together on xmas for the first time :) It was neat. He stayed and watched us open presents and then ran off to his moms and his dads and then to work...
Later my aunt and uncle came over for xmas dinner and then we all sat around and played a 3 hour game of Cranium. Which is a fuckin hilarious game...at least it was with my crazy drunken family all yelling at each other :D
When Paul got off work I went over to his place and we exchanged presents. Again, I felt so spoiled :)
On boxing day Paul and I went and saw "Lord of the Rings", which kicked ass. And I actually didn't have to go to the bathroom during the movie! Yeah!
Yesterday I worked in the morning, then came home and slept, later went quickly (very quickly) thru the Butchart gardens before meeting up with everyone downtown to see "Chicago". Chicago was awesome! Go see it if you haven't...it was so cool. What is it about musicals that put a smile on your face the whole way thru??
And the Butchart gardens were really pretty, and I've never been before and I REALLY wanted to see them, but I didn't realize what limited time I had. Oh well.
Today was a lazy day with Paul. A VERY lazy day hehe :)
Now I'm off to make some tea.
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Saturday, December 21st, 2002
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| Time: | 5:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  hungry. |
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I have 20 mins before I have to leave and meet Paul, so I will bore you with the details of my life. Or maybe not. I think I much prefer to be general on this thing - not because I'm really secretive, really I'm not, I just feel too much like I'm broadcasting my thoughts and I think that's kinda scary. I only have a handful of people on my friends list, too, I dunno how people do it when they have 50. Oh well maybe one day I will say what I really feel. I just have to work myself up to it I guess...
Anyway, enuf indirect bullshit. I had a looong week. Worked 7 days in a row, all mid-day shifts which seem to go by really slowly...But now I have the whole weekend off! Yea! And I get to spend most of it shopping...argh. Like today I went to Mayfair with my mom, and now I'm going downtown with Paul. There's just a couple more things I need to get. I really don't feel like shopping, tho.
Um, lets go backwards here...last night I got off work at 9 and met up with everyone downtown. It was a confusing night - we wanted to see Lord of the Rings but it didn't happen...soon, tho, soon. We ended up going bowling...well Jen, Paul and I drank beer and ate nachos...Leanna sat with us, too. It was nice talking to Leanna. I miss her. Ummm we ended the night midnightish and then I went and slept at Paul's. I was supposed to meet my mom at 11:30 this morning but we slept in till like, 11:20. Man we're bad.
Thursday night Paul and I went shopping, and it was pure torture for him. He wasn't even trying to hide it this time! It's so hard to go shopping with other people...but I got some stuff done so it's all good. We also went and looked at some Xmas lights. They were pretty, but pretty sad that people are calling them the "best in victoria". Come on people!! Later that night we watched "The Godfather" cuz I have never seen it before and aparently this made me a big freak. It was really good tho...long as hell, but worth it.
Wednesday...worked. Tuesday, shopping with Paul and Red Robbin for dinner.
Oh Gary's back with pizza....gotta go!
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Saturday, December 14th, 2002
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I had my last exam today. Boo ya! Biology, and it went pretty well. Not as hard as I thought it would be, and it was so short :)
The one yesterday was much longer, and it sucked...but my mark looks pretty good so I dunno. Looks a little too good to me.
Last night was fun. I really had a good time - maybe it's just because of all the studing I've been doing, or maybe it was just a good group, but either way it was a lota fun. We went to starbucks, walked around, then the videoarcade, then walked around some more and finally ended up in McDonalds. Simple, yet good! :)
No I have to go to work tonite, and they wanted me to come in early but I don't wanna. I just got up from a nap and now I feel all wonky...
And hungry!!! So I'm gunna go found something to inhale. See ya!
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Thursday, December 12th, 2002
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Nobody ever leaves comments in my journal anymore...:( But that's ok, I write this for me. Really. Really I do.
Hm lets see...Tuesday I got my hair cut and streaked, and I love it! I don't have to wear it up at work, and it feels so much healthier. I felt so glamourous after I got it done, too :) I'm a geek.
After that I went to Winners with my mom and then out for lunch. I came home and "studied" for a bit and then I went down to Moxies for my staff secret santa exchange. Of course they sent us to the wrong Moxies, and it was actually at the one downtown so that was a pain in the ass. I got this really cool present from Nicole - it was gift certificates for movies, but she stuck it in a tupperware countainer, dropped candy down the middle and then filled it with popcorn. It was so cool, I wish I hadda thought of doing that. I got certificates for Lindsay as I had her for secret santa, but I didn't dress em up like that :P
It was a fun dinner tho. We had way too much fun with an octopus in Cathy's dinner that she wouldn't eat because it kept looking at her. Eventually it winded up in Shannon's drink and then on Cathy's shoulder and we were all crackin up :D It was funny...AND it was cheap Margarita night. Yeah, baby, yeah!
Um after that I went over to Paul's, and once again fell asleep too early...*sigh* I suck...
Yesterday I worked and it was the slowest shift ever. Today will probably be the same thing.
I should probaby go study now, tho...I have a psych final tomorrow.
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Monday, December 9th, 2002
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Well, surprise surprise I'm sick around exam time. Now I know this has happened to me before, but I just can't remember when....
I spent all day studying today, and my brain was so fuzzy I'm amazed anything sunk in. But I had my compscience final tonight and it went pretty ok I think...knock on wood...:P
Anyway, last week was another crazy week. I had tons of shit due and after only a few minor freak outs I'm glad that it's all over!! No more assignments!! The whole week is a blur...but I remember going shopping with Sukhpal and Lyndsay and Lyndsay's neice Jasmine on Friday. We went to Cosco and bought fleece pants and ate too many samples. And after eating all those samples putting on the fleece pants was the best thing in the world...! hehe
I didn't go out Friday night - I was too tired and I had a comp assignment due that night that I hadn't started :P Saturday I worked, and started to feel sick during my shift...
Saturday night I went over to Sukhpal's and Bronwyn came over and we watched another Sex and the city tape...so good. So good. It was nice being able to lounge around on Sukhpal's bed and be lazy...just like the good ol' days :)
By Sunday I felt like complete shit at work. I felt like death and kept being stuck on bar and it overwelmed the fuck out of me. I burnt the hell out of some milk and spilled it everywhere, spraying myself in the face with 200 degree milk, and then to top it off I lost my band-aid (I cut my finger on Saturday) and couldn't find it anywhere. I started freaking out that maybe it fell in someones drink, and then Lindsey came in and laughed at me! ehe thank god I found it eventually. How gross would that have been? :P
Sunday night I came home and wrote my take home exam, sent that on this morning and studied the rest of the day...
This week was also "partner shopping days" (fuckin gay name) at work, so we got everything 40% off (as opposed to 30% off)...I spent too much money...but I didn't even get the Cranium I've wanted all year because the shippers in Seatle are on strike and aren't sending the right fucking stuff!! Piss me off!! I bought my parents a Barista espresso machine, tho, and that was a pretty penny! 40% off AND it was on sale, and it was still $250 fucking dollars. Oh well, my parents are happy, I think...
Um I think that's about all. I don't have an exam tomorrow and I don't work either. I'm so happy. I'm getting my hair done in the morning, and going to a staff dinner tomorrow night, and NOTHING in between...ahhh it shall be nice. I guess maybe I should study tho, or something, eh? But my next exam isn't until Friday, so I have some time...
Good luck on exams, everyone... :)
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Tuesday, November 26th, 2002
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Argh I'm worried if I write this I'm going to sound pissy. But all I wanna do is vent about stuff. Vent about everything that sucks!!!
Like I registered last week and it kicked me out of one of the classes that I NEED because the school failed to send over my fucking grade 10 transcript. Gr...If I don't get this done quick, it's going to kick me off the waitlist and I'm already number 10 now cuz I had to re-register....
And Gary is driving me fucking crazy. My dad took the green car to vancouver and now I feel so stranded...without any warning, too. And I...aerghhh I'm just too pissed off to bitch.
I FINALLY finished my week late paper today, and now I gotta work on my other one due next week. I'm so sick of school.
Anyway, I'm sure something good has happened between all this shit. Ahh, yes, last week Paul and I had our 2nd anniversary so we went to Milestones and we had a sweet ass gift certificate so we got drunk for free :) It was fun...and we had the best seat in the house! But woah, man, 2 years...hard to believe...
Friday night we went out for Jen's bday to the South bay pub and resteraunt...it was really nice there, I liked it. Afterwards we "played" chess on the big human chess board, and Donna and I had way too much fun :D
Saturday I got to sleep in...mmm...and then Paul and I walked around Sidney and had some starbucks...I'm getting addicted to that shit, yo...
Sunday I worked...Monday worked, then school...today school...and Sukhpal and Donna and I went for lunch at pizza hut...buffet all the way! It was yummy...
Now I'm just doing homework, waiting for fuckhead to get home so I can go to Paul's for some snuggling :)
And I think that's about it. Only 1 week of school left after this week!!! Yeaaaahhh!!
Thank god.
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Saturday, November 16th, 2002
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Ahhhhh...coke...how do I love thee?
This was yet another long week. I can't wait until the end of the semester...so I can read one of the books I have stacked up, and perhaps get started on my christmas shopping. I have no idea what to get anyone...bah. I don't even know home much I have to spend. Good old Visa. Hopefully I will get more hours in December..yaya.
Today was SOO busy at work. I've never seen it that busy before. And it's christimas crazy in there...we have so much stuff. Some of it's actually pretty cool...like the characters from rudof the red nose reindeer finger puppets!! Even the Abomidable (?) snowman!!! :)
And tomorrows that damn santa claus perade so I'm sure it'll be busy as shit.
Anyway, last night I saw "Bowling for Columbine", and it was great. Go see it. I think everyone should see it...
I also saw "8 mile" during the week and I liked that, too. It seems like I've been seeing a lot of movies lately...hmm..
And I went shopping yesterday and bought a new bra. Wooo the highlite of my week ;)
I've been working on my term paper all afternoon, but I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. I'm reading all the abstracts and I don't understand what the fuck their talking about. Write in english, damnit!!
I still have to plan my classes for next semester, too. I think I'm just going to take 3 or 4...ahhhh, that'll be so nice.
Oh and I asked at work about transfering (just out of curiousity) and I found out that I can transfer anywhere in the world. Isn't that cool? It's nice knowing that I have an escape route if I need one...And working in New York city or something would be wild...
Anyway, time for some Sex in the City therapy...:)
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Tuesday, November 12th, 2002
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Welp, I have my bio midterm#2 today, and it sucked. I don't know how I did on it...ugh. And I have another test tomorrow morning, but I have done enuf studying for that one...
My weekend was pretty uneventful. Friday night we went out to Pegliaccis for Sukhpals bday, and ended up waiting 2 hours!! In the rain...! But they gave us free wine so all is forgiven...!? 2 hours, man. That's a record... ;) But boy oh boy that bread is damn good...
Saturday and Sunday and Monday I worked and then studied and did homework the rest of the time. Saturday I got to bring the Barista Espresso machine home from work so that was a highlite...ehe. AND Monday night I went to Paul's, and we watched "The Family Man" and ate popcorn. I love that movie so much, it's so cute. Makes me feel all warm inside when I watch it :)
I'm home alone right now and I HATE being home alone. To many fucking windows in this place. It has the privacy of a greenhouse.
Ummm that's about it. Pretty dull, eh? I'm going to see 8 Mile tonight, that's something, eh? ;P
Ooohhhhh the life of a student.
:)
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Thursday, November 7th, 2002
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Why does everything have to be so hard? Or not hard, but so much of everything!! This last couple weeks has been so crazy at school, I haven't even had time to think. Last night I almost had a nervous breakdown because my tape that I needed for my psych project today, was acting wierd and I couldn't find the conversation part on the tape. I was seriously freaking out. It turned out to be a good tape, too...and incase anyone is actually reading this and actually cares it was a tape of my listening skills when listening to Paul...it was actually pretty fun :)
Last night I had an oral presentation in comp, and I didn't even start researching until yesterday. I didn't have time! But the presentation went well anyhow...I also had a test yesterday, too.
And next week I have big assignment and tests due 3 days in a row! Joy! We all know how I will be spending my weekend :P I thought college life was supossed to be fun!! Fuck that!!!
Next semester I am definately taking 4 courses. And I got my registration day fixed today, so now I'm on the 21st and not the 26th. Yeeaa!
Oh and I saw "The Ring" last weekend!!! Fuckin most scary movie ever!! If you haven't seen it than go see it. It was great.
I don't think anything else has been going on. Just working and school.
My brain is too fried to think of anything else...I hope everyone has a good night.
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Thursday, October 31st, 2002
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Well, I have work to go to. Yee. Haw. It's Halloween, and I will be spending at Starbucks...bah. I wish I could go out and do something. But I have nowhere to go to anyway so may as well go to work...
How depressing...
I decided to go with the creative witch costume, becuz I'm just so creative...I didn't even have time or money to look for a real costume so screw it is what I say.
After work I'm gunna do something with Paul, so all is well I suppose...
Anyway, this week has been hella stressful. I had a midterm last night, and my roleplay was today. The roleplay was actually pretty fun...it was wierd tho cuz I had to sit frozen "gazing lovingly", holding hands, with this guy in my group. It was so hard not to laugh :D I felt so silly...but it went well, and people actually laughed and enjoyed it so that's good. Thank god that's over!
Haven't done much lately...last Friday we went to the Corn Maze, but it was so crowded and kids were throwing corn on the cobs at us so that wasn't fun. I still enjoyed it tho as being with my friends is always a good time...
Truthfully tho, I feel like I've skipped over the whole Halloween holiday. I didn't even get to carve a pumpkin, and ours is sitting on the doorstep, uncarved....how sad is that?? Everyone in my family is too damn lazy and I don't have time. ARFG.
And I have my period so my uterus is killing itself or something. Damn uterus!
Phone. brb.
Okay...I should get going. Maybe I'll go early and get a hot chocolate :)
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Tuesday, October 22nd, 2002
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| Time: | 8:38 pm. |
| Mood: |  lonely. |
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I am fuckin pooped. But I am so tired, that I can't even sleep. I hate that kinda exhaustion tired. It always does that to me.
This week has been hella stressful and it's only Tuesday. ARGH. I worked and studied all weekend, and that's all I've been doing these last couple days, too. I had a midterm today, and just when I thought I could kick back and relax I realize I have a test on Thursday. And no time to study for it tomorrow. I work, then I go to classes, then I race back here, stopping off at the grocery store, and then make a fuckin 7 layer dip that I somehow signed up for even tho I would have no time to do it and then go back downtown to Cooke street for a team meeting that I am missing my wednesday night class for and I haven't done the assignment cuz I don't understand and I wont even get to talk to her then I have to come back home and study for that freakin test and get no sleep cuz I have an 8:30 lab on thursday.
Now THAT is a run-on sentance. UMPH!
Fuckin hell is 2nd year if doing this to me, than what about 3rd?! 4th?! 248th?!
My brain is too fuzzy to even study right now. I feel like I'm going insane, but quietly, ya know?
And on Saturday morning I told Paul that I needed a break. And we haven't talked much since then. It was a combination of factors, but ultamitely I felt it was the right thing to do at the time. And it's only been a few days and already I miss him like hell. I just wanna do whatever I can to keep us from fucking up...but already I have realized that he keeps me sane. And for that reason I have to stop being a stupid little bitch and stop taking him for grantit.
And I found out that I work 6:30-11:30pm on halloween. Could there be a worse shift? I think not.
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| Time: | 8:38 pm. |
| Mood: | lonely. |
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I am fuckin pooped. But I am so tired, that I can't even sleep. I hate that kinda exhaustion tired. It always does that to me.
This week has been hella stressful and it's only Tuesday. ARGH. I worked and studied all weekend, and that's all I've been doing these last couple days, too. I had a midterm today, and just when I thought I could kick back and relax I realize I have a test on Thursday. And no time to study for it tomorrow. I work, then I go to classes, then I race back here, stopping off at the grocery store, and then make a fuckin 7 layer dip that I somehow signed up for even tho I would have no time to do it and then go back downtown to Cooke street for a team meeting that I am missing my wednesday night class for and I haven't done the assignment cuz I don't understand and I wont even get to talk to her then I have to come back home and study for that freakin test and get no sleep cuz I have an 8:30 lab on thursday.
Now THAT is a run-on sentance. UMPH!
Fuckin hell is 2nd year if doing this to me, than what about 3rd?! 4th?! 248th?!
My brain is too fuzzy to even study right now. I feel like I'm going insane, but quietly, ya know?
And on Saturday morning I told Paul that I needed a break. And we haven't talked much since then. It was a combination of factors, but ultamitely I felt it was the right thing to do at the time. And it's only been a few days and already I miss him like hell. I just wanna do whatever I can to keep us from fucking up...but already I have realized that he keeps me sane. And for that reason I have to stop being a stupid little bitch and stop taking him for grantit.
And I found out that I work 6:30-11:30pm on halloween. Could there be a worse shift? I think not.
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Tuesday, October 15th, 2002
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Ahhh, good ol' hanging around until my next class. Biology. *shudder*
Last week was busy for me. I did lots of stuff...some of it fun. We went to RedRobbin for Bronwyn's "birthday", we went to Kelseys and then saw "White Oleander" on Friday, and Saturday I got to see Matt and Leanna's place, which was cool. And we watched Jason X, which was as retarted as I thought it would be. And I went out for dinner with Paul at one point. Aaaaaandddd...I'm sure there's more. I had a good week but now I'm stressed. Stressed as fuck.
I worked all weekend, but it wasn't bad. Hayley's leaving tho...she's so much fun :( The ones I like always leave.
Last night I went to Paul's dad's for Thanksgiving dinner...mm mm it was some good food, baby. And I got to play with Sam's train set so I was happy. That kid is damn spoiled. He has a tent in the living room!A tent! And a bed that's like bigger than mine, and he's 2. He's a pretty cute kid tho. Paul and I were talking about how if we had a kid, Sam would be it's uncle. Hehe a 2 year old Uncle, that would be cool. And Paul's step mom had a dream about me having tripplets....ahhhh scary!!
I have so much assignments and tests and projects coming up it's not even funny. October is supossed to be a fun month, yo! Halloween! I wanna do something cool for Halloween this year...but I always say that and I still don't do anything cool so what's the point. As long as I'm having fun doing "something cool" shouldn't be important, right? right?!
And in reading everyone's journals I have come to this conclusion: everyone complains of the same feelings, only in different ways. It's really quite neat. I think it's just that, to quote White Oleander, "loneliness is the human condition...". I think it's just part of being human. It is wierd tho, when you think about it. But whatever, I'm just blabbing on now...
I don't want to go to Biology. nononononononononooo...
I don't feel very good. Sukhpal and I had subway and now I feel like upchucking. Ick.
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Saturday, October 5th, 2002
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| Time: | 8:39 pm. |
| Mood: |  contemplative. | | Music: | Nirvana - "You know you're right". |
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I just finished watching Sex and the City, and that show always makes me think. I think that's why I like it so much. Sure it's hilarious and everything, but what I really love is Carrie's monologues. I always feel better after the show is over, and that's rare for a t.v. show. And it just makes me think about life in general...and LOVE...and the point of it all. Is there a point? And it's wierd cuz I look at the characters on the show, and I think "I would hate to be 36 and single...", but then the idea of being 36 with two bratty kids and a morgage doesn't seem too glamorous either...
And I feel like a brat for saying so, but life is hard. Being 20 is hard. I'm dredding the next ten years. Sometimes I just wish I could hurry up and be 30 and not have to worry about "finding myself" and planning for my future and all that bullshit. I don't know what the fuck I want. I'm so confused all the time. It's lame but I can relate to that stupid britney spears song about not being a kid and not being a woman...just this useless thing in between.
I always thought being this age would be fun, but I feel like such a train wreck. And the older I'm getting the more I'm appreciating the little things, and I'm worried my already hurting sence of adventure is floating out the window...I feel like an old maid and an 8 year old girl.
But what to do? Grit and bare it? Do something stupid like move out even tho I can't aford it? Delay my education -that I so wanna get over with- and go away somewhere?
I'm so neurotic! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Anyway...last night Paul and I went out for dinner at Mychosen cafe, and then saw "Red Dragon" at the Caprice. I had a really nice night and I think it actually calmed my nerves a bit. The movie was great, I was really impressed with it. Go see it if ya like creepy shiz.
Today I opened again, 5:30-12:00, and then I came home and slept. Since then I've been trying to study for my bio midterm on Monday, but my brain feels all foggy. I'll have to actually be conscience when I do my homework tomorrow.
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dessa's journal
anxious.
calm.
accomplished.
pessimistic.
cranky.
stressed.